Seeking out street art in NYC’s Soho.
As many of you know, I’ve recently relocated from Scotland to the States, leaving the sandy shores of home, the Outer Hebrides, for the skyscraper-lined banks of the Hudson River. While there are many things I love about my newly adopted country – the positivity of the people, the good food, the convenience of just about every shop being open at all times, and the mix of cultures, to name a few – there are still some cultural differences and random occurrences that I am yet to come to terms with, so here’s a (mostly) light-hearted look at six of them.
1. Gaps in the doors of public toilets.
I’m not just talking about a gap between the floor and the bottom of the door: I’m talking nearly inch-wide spaces around the door frame too, allowing anyone and everyone in the toilet to see what’s going on inside each stall with an accidental glance in the wrong direction. Is this normal for Americans? I’m not sure. It’s slightly uncomfortable for a Brit like myself, but after living in China where most public toilets had no doors at all, I suppose I can’t really complain.
2. The news.
Where are the evening headlines? And the international news stories? As an International Relations graduate, journalist, and self-confessed news junkie, this one is hard to adjust to. I find the news channels here to be very insular, focusing almost solely on domestic issues, and often offering sensationalist coverage. CNN and Fox News just don’t match up to the Beeb or Channel 4 News. Thank goodness for newspapers and Radio 4, is all I can say.
3. Portion sizes.
Until you’ve stepped foot on American soil, it’s impossible to imagine the quantities that are served on plates in this country. The amount of food offered as a main dish or ‘entree’ at a restaurant is more than enough to feed two people; starters here are akin to main meals in the UK. America is also home to portion sizes that don’t even exist in Europe, and the recent advert I saw at McDonalds is a case in point: 50 chicken nuggets for $9.99. Yes, 50! On the plus side: what you don’t eat in a restaurant here, you are more than welcome to take home with you – the waiter will box it up nicely, and your lunch for tomorrow is sorted. I tried to do this once in the U.K. and received a rather strange look from the waitress…
4. Manners.
While we’re on the theme of restaurants, the manners and etiquette on display in restaurants here are in stark contrast to that of the U.K. Back in Britain, you receive a clean knife and fork with each course; here, my dirty cutlery from the first course is often taken off my plate by a waiter and placed back on the table. This would be considered unhygienic and rather rude on my native side of the Atlantic.
Another restaurant faux pas in the UK is removing a plate from the table before all diners are finished eating. Here your dinner plate is whisked away the moment you taste your last mouthful, regardless of what stage of their meal your fellow diners are at. To me it feels rushed and impolite, as if the customer’s enjoyment of the meal is secondary to getting the next lot of fee-paying diners in through the door and into the recently vacated seats.
5. Tipping.
This is perhaps the most controversial of cultural divisions between Britain and America. Contrary to what some Americans have been led to believe, we do tip in the UK. In restaurants and bars, if you receive good service, it’s expected (not to mention good manners) to leave at least a few pounds for your waiter or bartender.
Here, tipping feels like a minefield, and is practically mandatory regardless of the quality of service, (something I strongly disagree with). Not only that, but tipping extends far beyond restaurants and bars to hair stylists, nail technicians, delivery boys, taxi drivers – the list goes on. As far as I’m concerned, a tip should not be given simply for doing the job you are already paid to do, but for going above and beyond its basic requirements.
6. Holidays.
Last, but not least – and certainly not surprisingly, coming from a travel blogger – is the ‘vacation’ culture here (or should I say, lack of it). Let this sink in: there are no nationwide legally mandated holidays in the U.S. In fact, the U.S. is the only advanced economy in the world that does not guarantee its workers paid vacation. Of those people that do get paid holidays (a meagre 10 days a year, on average), many are genuinely too concerned that it will affect their career to take all – if any – of those allotted days.
For someone brought up in Europe, this practice is mind-boggling. In the UK, the mere idea that you might not use all your annual leave is unheard of. It’s considered important to live as well as work, and to rest, mentally and physically, during your time off, which for most workers adds up to four to five weeks a year – minimum.
In fact, one of my biggest concerns about this new all-American life was that my travelling days would be limited, but a quick glance at other American-based travellers assures me that a life well-lived (and well-travelled) is possible on this side of the Atlantic. Just look at Christine Amarose of C’est Christine, who last year visited three new countries and countless new domestic destinations from her base in Brooklyn; or New York-based journalist Caitlin Kelly, who has travelled to 39 countries and counting, and recently returned from an extended winter break in London and Paris. For someone who feels restless without an upcoming trip planned, it’s inspiration indeed!
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Of course, encountering new customs and ideas is all part of the adventure of the expat experience, and I’m sure there are many British peculiarities that would befuddle my American friends and family, just as these intrigue me.
When I lived in New Zealand, a neighbour ran a car dealership which dealt with a Japanese car firm. In New Zealand in the 1980s, weekends were sacrosanct for sport and The Beach. But visiting Japanese executives insisted on working, A culural chasm. What to do? He wrote to company headquarters in Japan explaining that Spending Time On The Beach was an essential element of local culture and that to succeeed, the Japanese had to fit in. From then on (or so he claimed!) the executives arrived with towels and swimming gear and proved as committed to that at weekends as they had been previously to working
One thing I did notice in Japan was that the people there were very committed to routine. At least America believes in taking time off at the weekends!
I visited America last September for a few weeks and the one thing that I still can’t get my head around are the gaps in the toilet door. It just doesn’t make sense. Like, why are they there? Also the food portions are huge! I ordered a starter for my main on several occasions because I knew it was going to be a big enough meal. It’s pretty fascinating though, I was reading Bill Bryson’s book Notes From A Big Country while I was on holiday in the USA and even though it was written in 1999, it shows the many differences between American and British cultures are still quite true today!
I’ve begun to order starters as my main meal in some restaurants where I know the portions are too big – it seems to be the right strategy! I’ve been meaning to read that Bill Bryson book too, his writing is always funny and usually completely spot-on! The UK and Britain really are two countries divided by a common language 🙂
Totally agree with you about the toilets, I found it very disconcerting when we were in New York – so much so I was planning a blog post about it! Plus the water level is much higher so it always feels like you’re about to fall in 😉
Haha you’re right, the water level is much higher! I’ll look forward to reading the blog post 🙂
It is funny seeing this from the other side, Canada is obviously slightly different from the US, but several of these points I saw the other way around. For example, the UK was the first time I ever went to a restaurant and they gave me a pizza the size of my plate…and I couldn’t even take home what I didn’t finish! I gained about 10lbs living in Edinburgh. I also found it strange they weren’t taking my plate away…I thought our server wasn’t being attentive leaving a dirty plate in front of me. I’ve also fought to keep my utensils not realizing it was normal to remove them (Only I used them, why waste more?). I think it is just what you are used to and now I see the merits of both sides.
Tipping is also a big part of a persons wages here. Liquor servers and students are not paid minimum wage and at places like hair salons a large portion of what you pay goes to the salon (I believe this is even worse in the US). However, my tip is based on the quality of service. I worked in the UK (5 weeks vacation) and felt like I could never take time off or my boss complained and in Canada (4 weeks vacation + Christmas to new years + bank holidays…but I’m lucky) I’m pushed to use it all (I think this is more work place specific though).
I also found the UK headlines very sensationalist (well and the US ones). Fox news is just horrible/the devil.
I never really noticed about the toilets…but don’t get me started on hot/cold faucets 😉
ALSO Congrats!!! xx
Travel ideas near you…Boston, Chicago, Montreal. if you’re ever near Ottawa/Toronto send me a message!
Hi Jess! It’s interesting to see it from your perspective, especially the bit about waiters not being attentive – it’s funny how something so small can have such different meanings in countries that on the surface seem so similar. And the food in Scotland can be very heavy (lots of meat and potatoes!) so I can definitely see how it would be easy to put on weight there too. I know that bar and restaurant workers don’t get minimum wage here (which astounds me) so I do of course tip, even though I don’t necessarily agree with the system.
Funny you mention the hot and cold taps – my husband mentioned that to me too! It had never crossed my mind before as something strange, but now I’ve noticed it I won’t be able to forget it.
By European standards you’re right next door, so Toronto, Montreal, and Niagara Falls are all on my list this year, and if I’m in the area I’ll definitely get in touch! It would be great to see you 🙂 xx
This was so interesting to read as an American! I completely agree with the tipping portion–one of my favorite things about Australia and Europe is that you don’t have to tip (unless it’s exceptional service). In America, I constantly feel anxiety about not leaving enough or wondering if I should tip, etc etc. It’s terrible. I also hate the dirty silverware AND the plates being cleared immediately–there’s definitely not the same “dining well” culture here, and Americans generally encourage it by constantly being in a rush. AND because our servers rely on their tips to live, they do definitely want to move those tables to earn more tips! Whenever I go out with my parents, my dad tells the waiter they’re here to “dine” (aka don’t rush them) and my mom requests new silverware with every course and if the servers accommodate that well–they get tipped well 🙂 As for holidays, UGH–never enough! I get 15 days at my current job, and there’s still a little bit of stigma about taking them but I feel like you just have to power through that and do what’s best of you 🙂
I think I’ll have to follow your parents’ example and ask not to be rushed, and for clean cutlery/silverware with each course 🙂 The holiday limit is going to be tough, but I’m definitely going to stick with my British upbringing on this one and take all the days I’m given! Your travel and intentional living posts are always really inspiring by the way – they give me hope for my own future travels 🙂
I’ll agree with you about the door gaps and possibly tipping, but you can’t use fast food portion size as a gauge! I’ve been served a disturbing amount of food at a chippy more than once! Things about the UK that confound me: the prevalence of separate hot and cold faucets!!
I’ve found that even most restaurants here serve a lot more good than in the UK, where I can fit in a starter and a main course easily (here if I have a starter I can barely eat anything else!). I do like that you can take leftovers home though, to save on waste. And I’ll agree with you that chip shop portions can be big in the UK – I do miss proper fish and chips 🙂
I wonder about the ‘Faucet’ thing , in Scotland or indeed most of the UK we can drink the water from the tap, but the hot water goes into a boiler or tank and sits , being warmed or not as you use it the cold water comes straight from the supply, hence the two different taps.
Thanks for that helpful bit of information 🙂 It’s not something I’d ever thought about, until American friends pointed it out to me.
I am American and I can’t stand the gap in the public toilets. Sometimes I opt to wait till I get home because it’s so big. Ha!
Glad to hear it’s not just me 🙂 I can’t understand why the gaps are so big in what is a private space…!
Those portion sizes – wow! Nuff said.
Wow indeed! They were the biggest difference I noticed on my first visit to the States a few years ago, and the amount of food still amazes me!
I really enjoy reading your blog and have nominated you for The Liebster Award. Keep up the awesome work :). http://www.fleetingplanet.com/2015/02/the-liebster-award-travel-edition.html
Thanks Gemma, that’s so kind of you! I’ll look forward to reading your blog too 🙂
Haha I’ve been in the states for a year now and can completely identify with a lot of that – especially the taking plates away before everyone else has finished – got told off a lot for attempting to educate service staff on that one! Gotta disagree about the tipping though – the wait staff get paid less than $2 an hour in many states, their tips are effectively their wages. No you absolutely don’t need to tip 20% if the service has been terrible, but I always leave something to acknowledge that they’ve carried my food and drinks around for me for free!! Hope you make it down to Texas some time – its a different WORLD down here!
Kate
http://www.the-austinite.com
Although I don’t necessarily agree with the tipping system in the U.S., I do tip, especially in restaurants and bars (I tip in the UK too, unless I’ve received poor service). It does amaze me though that employers can get away without paying their staff a living wage – and I thought the minimum wage in the UK was low! I’ll look forward to reading about your Austin adventures 🙂 I’d love to get down to Texas sometime!
Great post, really interesting to read. I agree, the portion sizes across the Atlantic are enormous! Good luck with your move 🙂 I love your blog and I have followed you with Bloglovin. If you ever get a chance to check out my blog I would be delighted, thanks!
Camille xo
http://www.cococami.blogspot.co.uk
Thanks Camille, for the kind words and the good luck wishes. I’ll look forward to popping over and having a read of your blog too 🙂
Hello from Edinburgh! I’ve only ever visited the states so I can’t comment on all the points you’ve raised (I’ve never watched American news although i know that Fox is said to be the scourge of the western world!) but from the 5 states I’ve visited – two just passing through – yes to the gaps round the toilet doors. SO weird. Is it in case we want to do drugs in there? Or have sex? I don’t know but it’s highly disconcerting! Portion sizes – crazy, but I like that you can get things bagged up and/or share easily. Tipping is a real sticking point with me – yes, I tip when I’m on holiday and also at home, but like you I think tipping should be for going a little bit above and beyond, or at least doing the job well. However, it’s not because I’m stingy – it’s becuase I think employers should pay their staff a living wage already!! I went to a drag dinner in San diego last year, and at the end we were all given a load of emotional blackmail about tipping the ladies as they’d worked so hard. They had – it was a great show and they were hilarious as waiting staff and as performers. So why not pay them a proper wage in the first place? I would rather have paid an extra $5 a head and then any tips would have been on top. No one should have to rely on tipping to make up their wages. You wonder what on earth you’re paying for at something like that, if the money isn’t going to the people who are working there! Another thing I found a bit uncomfortable over in the states is the ‘sale’ culture. Constant 40/50/60% off sales. They seem expected. So exactly what is the point of the prices in the first place? As someone who runs her own art/retail business, it just seems so hugely unethical to price things at a level where I could afford to have a 60% off sale! I would literally make NOTHING if I had a 60% sale! And if you have things reduced all the time, then do the initial prices mean anything?! But like you there’s so much I love about America and its people. Particularly Chicago and San francisco, out of the places I’ve been to (haven’t visited nyc – yet!). Some things are incredibly different though!
Thanks for your great comment! (Nice to hear I’m not the only one who finds the gaps in toilet doors weird!) I agree with you one hundred per cent on the tipping situation: paying staff at least the minimum wage, and tipping when and if appropriate based on the quality of service. It continues to amaze me that most waiters and waitresses don’t get paid properly by their employers. I’ve only recently started to notice the ‘sale’ culture – something I’ll be paying more attention to now!
As someone who has lived in the US my entire life, this is such an interesting post to read! It has always been my experience that European countries offer a much better dining experience than the US. I love the concept of making meals more of an ordeal–a longer amount of time spent at the table, smaller plates but with more courses, etc. Many American restaurants seem to be about efficiency more than the experience. And don’t even get me started on vacation days–ugh! Despite how little we get here, I actually feel so guilty whenever I ask for time off. I’m always scared that it will make me come across as lazy and not serious about work. I’m really envious of people in other countries who aren’t faced with this type of culture!
Thanks for your comment, Kelly! I hear you on the vacation days – it’s definitely something I’m adjusting to here! And I do love sitting down and really enjoying a meal, and enjoying the company of the people I’m sharing it with 🙂
haha all of the reasons you just mentioned are basically the reasons why I love living in the UK now! I’m not from the US so things are slightly different in Canada (we do have manners 😉 ) but it’s also culturally different (you should tip the waiter because actually they aren’t paid the minimum wage for their work – which I find ludicrous, but that’s how it is). And what to say about holidays except ‘amen!’ I now have more holidays after 6 months of working in the UK than my parents together – crazy!
How funny to hear that you’re experiencing the opposite as an expat in the UK! I do tip here, because it’s how things are done, but I don’t necessarily agree with it – and I definitely don’t agree with waiters not being paid minimum wage. That’s illegal in the UK! Happy to hear you’re enjoying your British holiday allowance too 🙂
When I moved from the US to Germany I encountered many of these, but in the opposite way! I don’t know how we’ll readjust to American vacation time especially once we return home. I’m hoping my husband can argue for at *least* 15 days…. but yet it still wouldn’t be enough after having 30 + lots of holidays here in Germany!
Thanks for your comment, Ava 🙂 I think there are things to adjust to wherever you move to… but the limited vacation time is definitely a big one! Hopefully you both get more than the minimum when you’re back over here!