“What are the chances you’d ever meet someone like that, he wondered. Someone you could love forever, someone who would forever love you back? And what did you do when that person was born half a world away?”
These are the thoughts of Park, one of two central characters in Rainbow Rowell’s beautiful book about teenage love, Eleanor and Park. For many people, old and young, the question about what to do with this chance – this choice – across borders and countries and continents is a real one.
In an increasingly interconnected world where it is easier than ever to travel, work, or study abroad, it’s only to be expected that there will be people who meet, click and maybe fall in love, temporarily or long term. But when it’s time to move on, there’s that question Park asks: what do you do?
Some travellers choose goodbye, seeing the situation as short-term and sealing the relationship off as a happy memory from a remarkable place. Others find themselves in the situation of Park’s parents, who he’s thinking of when he questions the chances of love. They can’t bear to say goodbye, so they don’t, and instead begin the emotional journey that is a long-distance relationship.
I should know. I’m one of them. Our long-distance relationship started at a street food stall in China: two expats (one British, one American) meeting coincidentally in a country of more than 1 billion people. The relationship took us from Tianjin to Tokyo, via Shanghai, Las Vegas, Edinburgh, and Stornoway. It’s what took me to America time and time again, saw me shed tears at airports more times than I can count, and finally, it’s what brought me, at the end of last year, to a new life here in New York.
So what happened after I arrived?
Reader, I married him.
It wasn’t that simple of course. Moving to America is a complicated process, filled with reams of paperwork, countless security checks, and tedious medical exams. Most couples have maybe a year to plan their nuptials; we did it in four weeks, in one of the biggest, busiest cities on the planet, an experience that taught me more about New York, America, and life in general than it did about wedding planning.
My belief in the fact that we live in a very small world indeed was reaffirmed in the little town of Kearny, New Jersey, where my father and brother went to hire kilts for the big day. One of the owners, an elderly woman from Glasgow, had lived in Lewis for six months in the Fifties; the shop they run offers potato scones, lorne sausage, and Irn Bru, as well as kilt hire. (I left with an empire biscuit, but I’ll return for those potato scones).
Back in New York, I learned the hard way that Sex and the City had lied to me, when I spent two long, cold days trudging the length and breadth of Manhattan in search of wedding shoes, and again when we spent ten days searching for four matching ties (which we eventually located in different department stores strewn across the state). It was a surprise to find that, in one of the world’s shopping meccas, locating what you’re looking for is not as easy as Carrie Bradshaw makes it seem.
Our patience was tested when what was expected to be the snowstorm to end all snow storms hit two days before the wedding, redirecting flights and delaying the arrival of family and friends. The predicted three feet turned out to be little more than three inches, but the city had already shut down. I couldn’t help wondering how those in a frenzy would have coped with a winter night in Ness (answer: probably not very well).
In the end, the snow didn’t make a difference (other than forcing me to arrive at the venue in cowboy boots, in order to protect those hard-won shoes!). It was a perfect evening that passed in a flash, filled with our nearest and dearest, and touches of home: a Harris Tweed bouquet made in Ness; boxes of Luskentyre tablet flown in to be used as favours; a New York piper who learned to play Caledonia in a mere 24 hours, so a favourite Scottish tune would accompany me down the aisle.
Now that our whirlwind of a wedding is over, it’s time to truly start this new life in America, time to adjust to cultural differences, language barriers (they do exist!), and driving on the ‘wrong’ side of the road. As I’ve learned before – in St Andrews, Philadelphia, Tianjin – starting somewhere new is always a mixture of ups and downs until you find your feet, a bit of a rollercoaster ride until what at first seems strange becomes second nature.
With my partner-in-crime, I’m ready for the next lot of suitcase stories, here in the States and wherever else the wind blows. And I hope you, the readers of these suitcase stories, will join me too, for the next chapter, of travel, love, and life!
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Header image by Death to the Stock Photo | Wedding photography by Le Image, Inc
What a wonderful, powerful piece of writing! Even though I know the story, it brought tears to my eyes.
Aw thank you Fred, that means a lot!
Congratulations! x
Thanks Elle! x
I love this! I’m currently in a long distance relationship with someone I met on the road and we simply refused to say goodbye. We’re still looking forward to when both of us will finally be in the same country and miles apart.
And we all know that the left side is the ‘right’ side. Hmmmpf.
Glad to hear you enjoyed reading it, and that you can relate! I know a lot of people who travel end up in long distance relationships – I hope you two end up in the same place soon 🙂
I love this Katie, I’m a very proud brother when I read it!
Thanks wee bro 🙂 xx
Such a lovely story and so beautifully told; you are a girl after my own heart! Wish you both a wonderful new life together in America! Ann x
Thank you so much, Ann! x
This is lovely, good to see you had some home comforts for your wedding day and even better to see you mention Ness a few times!
Thanks Sandra 🙂 I do love Ness (even though I’m a Rubhach!).
Congratulations! You really do have an art to storytelling. All the love and luck for your new life together! x
Thank you so much, Sophie! x
Congratulations, Katie – hope you both have a wonderful, lifelong journey together. Much love and best wishes xxx
Thanks Roz! Hope you’re doing well 🙂 xxx
What a lovely story Katie. All the Macleods in Lower Bayble send their congratulations to you and wish you all the best for your new life in America.
Thank you Carol! Hope all is well in Lower Bayble 🙂 x
How beautiful! I love reading stories like this 🙂 Congratulations to you and all the best for your new life in America, I’m sure it’ll will be an exciting and memorable adventure for you!
Thanks you, Emma! 🙂
Congratulations what a lovely story (one I can relate to as I also married my long distance love) best wishes to you both enjoy your new life in America.
Mary
Thank you, Mary! 🙂
Congratulations – wishing you a lifetime of happiness, love and laughter. Looking forward to stories from two suitcases from now on! 🙂
Thanks Suzanne! 🙂
What a beautiful story! Congratulations, it’s wonderful to hear how a relationship can be stretched all over the world but ultimately bring you back together.
Thanks Jasmine! It’s definitely been a long journey (through lots of countries!) but we’re finally in the same place 🙂
Congratulations! I had no idea you were planning a wedding and as someone who has just begun thinking about doing the same I am so impressed that you pulled this off in 4 weeks!! It sounds and looks perfect. Sending lots of well wishes for your next adventure together J
Thank you Jayne! The US government is very strict about non-Americans marrying Americans, so we had 90 days in which to get married after I moved here – which explains the crazy 4 weeks of planning! It all worked out perfectly though 🙂 Congratulations to you too, and good luck with your own planning 🙂 x
Lovely piece
https://theeighthours.wordpress.com/2015/03/25/home-made-spinach-ricotta-gnocchi/
Thanks 🙂 !
Girl I got a little weepy seeing your wedding photo – it’s just perfect. Loved this post and loved hanging out with you this weekend! I cannot WAIT to see all your new adventures together stateside 🙂
Aw thanks Eileen! It was SO much fun hanging out this weekend! Hopefully we’ll cross paths again before you become an expat too 🙂
Hey Katie, how wonderful to read a similar story than mine! I am German and my boyfriend is American. We both are travellers and met each other on travel. Now we r seperated by the atlantic ocean and the distance is cruel. So he started a challange to distract himself from it. 700 words every single day about life, love and distance. He invites everyone who knows this feeling to participate in this challenge. Unfortunatly so far no one did. I started writing in German for my family and friends and soon i will go over and hopefully get a visa. Maybe I am comin back to you and your experiences 😉 but for now we r not sure how long i will be allowed to stay and i still have to get everything set here in Germany thats why I am reachin out to you and here. I would be overwhelmed if through your side someone, maybe even you cause your describe the same we feel, if someone would feel inspired to participate in his challenge.:))
I found your post on pinterest and felt inspired so maybe now you or someone else feels inspired too. 🙂
http://www.nomadriding.com/700-word-count-challenge/. I thank u from my heart and wish you all the best.
Thanks so much for sharing your story, Mandy 🙂 I hope everything works out for you both!