“Do you like living here?”
The question inevitably arises when someone first discovers I’m not American, but Scottish. My answer is always immediate, always the same – but it wasn’t always true.
“Oh yes, I love it!”
You see, I thought loving New York would come easily. I thought I already loved it, but I soon learned that living in a city for three months at 21, and visiting multiple times a year, is a different beast entirely from moving there permanently as you near 30.
As a life has grown up around me, I’ve started answering honestly. Of course, Mr. Stories My Suitcase Could Tell has been there from the beginning – and long before – but friends, work, and familiarity have come in starts and fits.
In those early days, as homesickness crept up on me at the most unexpected of times, I felt like a fraud. How to explain to people that you are both happy and sad at once, and the source of both is the same? Homesickness, or cianalas as it is called in Scottish Gaelic, is a funny, slippery thing. It’s only now that it’s long gone that I realise other expats experienced similar emotions when they relocated across the world, too.
Of course, the homesickness eventually abated. I was allowed a library card, a work permit, a state ID, the Green Card that enabled me to travel. I attended event after event, introduced myself over and over and over again. Friendships formed, and networks strengthened; people showed kindness in putting in a good word for me there, extending an invitation here. In an environment where most of us are not born-and-bred, friends fill in for far away family.
Do I like living here?
A resounding yes. New York City can be exhausting, dirty, and brash – like any city – but just when the concrete jungle has stretched your patience to the limit, something happens to swing the pendulum right back to the other side again.
A fleet of trademark yellow cabs. The sight of the city skyline at sunset, watched with friends by your side. A picnic with card games in Central Park. Turning up to an event where you expect to know no-one, and being pleasantly surprised to see at least half of the people there are smiling, familiar faces. Sitting on a balcony discussing books with a crowd of journalists as the stars come out (Caitlin’s dinner parties are a highlight of the summer!).
I love the opportunities, in every sense, that come from living here: the work opportunities, the cultural opportunities – and let’s not forget the culinary ones, either! Thanks to what still feels like this “new” life in New York, I’ve stood in a press line on 5th Avenue to interview Scottish celebrities, and listened enraptured to some of my writing idols discuss their work.
I’ve found my favourite food from northern China in Flushing, and sipped weird and wonderful gin cocktails in the East Village. I can admire art in the Met Museum one day, and watch a thought-provoking piece of theatre on another. I’ve made friends who understand the fast-changing media world of blogging, and who share the never-satisifed itch of travel.
It’s been two years, but it feels simultaneously as if I’ve been here forever, and for no time at all. On one hand, I can’t envision living in this hectic city forever; on the other, I can’t imagine ever leaving. But that’s not something I need to think about – not yet. For now, I’m simply making the most of this magical New York City life, and continuing to build a cosy little home for two in the city that never sleeps.
“Do you like living here?”
Now, I answer honestly.
“Oh yes, I love it!”
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Have you ever lived in another country, or felt homesick far from home? What was it like?
Let me know in the comments – I’d love to hear if it’s been anything like my ‘NYC expat life’!
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Want to read more?
On Leaving Home, And Loving the Hebrides
What Does It Mean To Get A US Green Card?
10 British Foods I Miss As An Expat in the USA
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The library card hit the spot with me. When I went to live in New Zealand (I lived there for 10 years going each Eagleton winter for 6 months and returning for the Eagleton summer) I got my NZ Driver Licence and the first thing I did was go straight to the library and get my library card. With those two assets, I had an NZ identity and could do really exciting things like hire a DVD (impossible otherwise). When people asked me the question whether I loved New Zealand I could always truthfully answer in the affirmative. But I always knew that in a few months when people asked the same question about Lewis I could give the same answer without hesitation.
I’m making this comment with another email address simply so that I can get updates (I hope). WordPress keeps refusing to allow me to follow using my Eagleton email address.
There was something about the Library Card that just made me feel as if this was it, finally I was a member of the community! I used to be in and out of the library in Stornoway every week, so it was nice to have that option here as well. (It also sounds like you had a good idea there… summer in each place!)
I’m not sure why WordPress isn’t letting you follow that way – I can speak to some friends who know more about websites than I do, and see if they have any ideas on what’s going wrong!
Katie I am now getting updates because I have created a WordPress account and am using that email address. The thing for me is that my blogs are on Blogger so I usually use those email addresses. WordPress doesn’t seem to like that. One friend who now uses WordPress has been told by a number of her friends who used to follow her on Blogger that they can no longer follow her because of all the hassle (I had to log in all over again to make this comment). I enjoy your blog enough to make the effort but it is a bit of a hassle. I did try transferring my New Zealand blog to WordPress some years ago but my blog was too large and WordPress rejected it unless I used it commercially.
Nice to know that you love living in NYC! I’m an American expat living in Lithuania and sometimes I miss the US, but at the same time, I’m happy to be abroad. I always like reading your expat posts because our situations are opposite, yet similar.
Thanks for your comment, Elizabeth! I know exactly how you feel about simultaneously being happy living abroad, but missing home at the same time. It’s always nice to hear from fellow expats, too!
I can’t believe it’s been two years already! I’ve loved following along with your journey and am so very glad that you’re happy x
Sophie Cliff
Thanks so much, Sophie – I can’t believe it’s been two years already either! x
I love the contrast in your posts between your life in Scotland and NYC! I was actually in the city when I first read your post about moving and I remember being very envious. Those two years have gone so quickly!
How funny that you were here at the same time! Next time we’ll have to get coffee 🙂 There’s definitely a big contrast between the two places, but I love them both.
This was so beautifully written. It caught me right in the heart. I feel the same way about Scotland. Especially the first year, it was difficult. Every time someone asked me if I liked it, I lied and said yes. I think it gutted my boyfriend to know I wasn’t fully happy living in Scotland. The second year, just like you said, when I started having friends and going out and travelling, I started to feel so much more at home. And I feel the same about long term. I can’t see myself staying in Scotland forever, but I’d hate to leave. My dad says that feeling sticks for a while lol
Thank you so much for your lovely comment, Camila. It sounds like you’ve had exactly the same experiences as me (but almost in reverse!). It’s nice to know that other people have been through the same ups and downs 🙂
Beautiful post (as always)! Congrats on two years!
Aw thanks Erin! And these two years wouldn’t have been the same without you and the girls (and Travel Massive which brought us together!).
Shhhhhh yes, I know exactly what you mean when you had to lie when asked the question ‘Do you like it here’! I should be renamed Pinocchio! It’s definitely a lot harder as a new Expat than what I expected it to be!
It’s nice to know I’m not alone! Moving here was definitely a lot harder than I had expected – but hang on in there, it gets easier 🙂 For me, once I knew I *could* get home easily if I needed to, that helped – as you know, the rule on not being able to travel was tough!